Becoming a grandparent is an incredibly joyful occasion! There's nothing quite like welcoming a new generation into the family and watching your children become parents themselves. As grandparents, we all want to support our kids and their new family however, it’s essential to do so with kindness, respect, and a little extra consideration. Being helpful doesn't mean taking over; it means showing up with love and understanding.
Here are some practical tips on how to be the best grandparent you can be, while ensuring that the new parents feel supported and empowered. And, because sometimes a helping hand is all someone needs, we’ll also touch on how services like Find Your Kind can be a great way to offer practical support without overstepping.
1. Don’t Be Judgemental. Let Parents Make Their Own Choices
Parenting styles change from generation to generation, and what worked for you may not be what works for your children. It’s natural to want to share your wisdom, but it's important to remember that times and advice evolve. New parents have a lot of information to process and may be experimenting with different approaches to care, so it's crucial not to judge or criticize their decisions.
How to help:
- Offer advice only when asked: If your child or their partner comes to you for advice, that’s the time to share your experience. Otherwise, let them navigate the newness of parenting in their own way.
- Be a cheerleader, not a critic: Encourage them and praise what they’re doing well. Every parent is trying their best, and they need to hear that they’re doing great.
2. Compliment New Parents and Celebrate the Little Wins
New parents are under a lot of stress, and it's easy for them to feel like they're not doing enough. As a grandparent, it’s your role to help them see how well they’re doing. Praise the small moments, whether it’s a calm feeding time, the baby's first smile, or how well they’re handling sleepless nights.
How to help:
- Give genuine compliments: Compliment their parenting efforts, the baby’s growth, and even their resilience. It will go a long way in making them feel appreciated and supported.
- Notice the effort: Parenting can be a thankless job, especially in the early stages. A simple, “You’re doing an amazing job, I can see how much love you have for your little one,” can make a big difference.
3. Respect Their Need for Space After the Baby Arrives
Having a baby is a huge life change, and sometimes new parents just need a little breathing room. This is especially important in the first few weeks or months. While it’s natural to want to spend time with your new grandchild, remember that the parents need time to bond with the baby and adjust to their new life.
How to help:
- Give them time and space: If your child mentions they need some time alone or want to get some rest, respect that request. It can be tempting to rush over to help, but sometimes, the most helpful thing you can do is give them the space they need to recover and recharge.
- Offer help on their terms: Instead of showing up unannounced, give them a call to see if it’s a good time to visit. Let them tell you when they’d like your support.
4. Be Mindful of Baby Clothes and Gifts
It's easy to get excited about buying gifts for your new grandchild—especially when it comes to clothes! However, not all parents may share the same taste or style. Try not to assume that the clothes or gifts you think are perfect will be exactly what the new parents would choose. It's always a good idea to check in with them first before buying anything too specific.
How to help:
- Give gift cards or ask for a wish list: If you're unsure about what the parents need or would appreciate, it’s best to ask. Gift cards to baby stores or a simple inquiry about what the baby needs can go a long way in ensuring that your gift is both useful and appreciated.
5. Avoid Commenting on Birthing Preferences
As a parent, you may have had your own experiences with childbirth, but it’s important to recognize that every birth experience is different. New parents may choose a different path than you did, and that’s perfectly okay.
How to help:
- Respect their choices: If the new parents don’t want to discuss their birthing preferences or the details of how they gave birth, don’t push for information. It’s their personal experience, and it’s important to respect that.
- Avoid comparisons: Even if your birth experience was vastly different, avoid comparing. Birth can be an emotional topic, and your child may want to focus on their own journey.
6. Respect Boundaries. Especially When It Comes to Baby Health
New parents are often very protective of their little one’s health, and that’s completely understandable. Whether it’s about vaccinations, who can hold the baby, or when the baby should meet others, it’s important to respect the boundaries the parents have set.
How to help:
- Respect health boundaries: If the parents request that certain people receive recommended vaccinations before holding the baby, or if they ask you not to kiss the baby due to immunity concerns, respect their wishes without hesitation. It can be tempting to argue or offer differing opinions, but it’s essential to prioritize the baby’s health and the parents’ peace of mind.
- Trust their decisions: If they choose to follow a certain health routine or guideline, support them in that choice. After all, they are the ones who are living with the day-to-day realities of caring for their baby.
7. Offer Practical Help And Don’t Forget About Yourself!
While emotional support is important, the practical side of life doesn’t stop when there’s a new baby in the house. That’s where services like Find Your Kind can help! If your child is feeling overwhelmed by the daily tasks, Find Your Kind can take care of some of the household duties like cleaning, cooking, or organizing. This leaves the new parents with more time to focus on their little one and themselves.
How to help:
- Offer services that make a difference: Help out with tasks like running errands, cooking, or organizing. Or, offer to gift a Find Your Kind voucher for cleaning or household assistance so that the parents don’t have to worry about the chores while they adjust to life with a newborn.
- Prioritize self-care for you too: As a grandparent, you want to be there for your child, but don’t forget about your own well-being. Make sure to rest, recharge, and take care of yourself so that you can continue to support your family.
In Conclusion: Grandparenting with Love and Respect
Being a grandparent means offering love, support, and care in a way that respects the parents' boundaries and choices. By providing a listening ear, offering practical help, and respecting their decisions, you can play a positive role in their parenting journey. And when in doubt, services like Find Your Kind can give both you and the new parents much-needed relief, allowing everyone to focus on what really matters: bonding and making memories.
Grandparenting can be one of the most fulfilling roles in life—when done with love, patience, and understanding. And while your advice and experiences are invaluable, the greatest gift you can give is the support to allow your children to parent in the way that feels right for them.